Thursday, September 25, 2008

First update in over a year

Life is a crazy little thing and it gets away from you some time. Like most of my journals, I was pretty religious about updating my blog and then sure enough, time and space move and somewhere into that great abyss went my great plans for keeping up the blog.
So where I've been since my last post:

I think there comes a time in every writer's life when he or she just has to HATE -- and by hate I mean absolutely loathe his or her craft. At some point, a writer has to put down the pen, close the computer, unplug the typewriter -- whatever -- and just let it go for a while.
Or find a way to spice it up.
Lately, I've been finding that I don't feel so fulfilled when I'm writing. I've lost the spark and passion that I used to feel. I don't know if that's come on account of being a recovering newspaper reporter or spending so much time neck-deep in academic writing, but the passion for creative fiction writing that I used to feel has sort of ebbed.
My sister, in the last two years or so, has gotten herself deeply into her passion for writing. She's written a few longer works and she's extremely determined to get into the publishing sphere. I remember having that passion. I remember going through Writer's Market with a fine tooth comb looking for that perfect agent and publisher. And somewhere between doing that and not getting it done, I lost the spark.

So what to do:
A lot of the solution is encased in the notion of "self analysis." What was it that drove me to write? What excited me about writing? What made writing the only thing I could think about? And what circumstances happened to make that go away? Is it something I want to reclaim, and if I do want to reclaim it, what is necessary for me to reclaim it?
And is it time right now to just put fiction aside and focus on whatever moment I happen to be in?
Or maybe the answer lies in exploring another genre, such as creative nonfiction. I don't think I'm a poet. I've pretty much successfuly determined that each and every one of my poems is the product of depression, which is how I think it goes for most writers.

Every writer gets into a rut, and it's a lot of self evaluation that draws you back into your "happy writing place." Eventually, I think, if you're meant to be a writer, you'll go back to it anyway because you'll find if it's truly your passion, you won't be able to stay away from it, not even for a moment.
I'm not sure how long my moment will last, but that's where it stands right now. Year two of graduate school and still picking at novels that are just sitting there on my harddrive.